"It aint what ya dont know that hurts ya. What really
a hurtin on ya is what ya knows for sure, that just ain't
Quaeras de dubiis, legem bene discere si vis.
"Inquire into them, that's how to know what things are really
Why we publish this report
We are sending this report to the media, and those persons and organizations who deal
with family violence, in the hope that we can correct a serious misunderstanding about
this very important issue.
We want to make it clear that we have been working to end family violence for decades.
One of us is an original incorporator of our local women's shelter. We were members of the
"Century Club", those who contribute over $100 annually. We have sponsored
benefit events for our shelter that attracted national media attention. Since we began
publishing scientific studies on family violence the womens shelter has returned our
contributions. Much of the womens shelter movement is seriously misinformed about
the causes and scope of family violence. We were also seriously misinformed. We have
learned a lot over the years.
This misunderstanding of the family violence issue is so pervasive that city and county
governments, the courts, law enforcement, prosecutors offices, mental health
clinics, and other tax supported agencies are now funding programs based on feminist
propaganda rather than responsible scientific studies.
How can this be?
Violence against family members is something women do at least as often as men! There
are dozens of solid scientific studies that reveal a startlingly different picture of
family violence than what we usually see in the media. For instance:
- Women are three times more likely than men to use weapons in spousal violence.
- Women initiate most incidents of spousal violence.
- Women commit most child abuse and most elder abuse.
- Women hit their male children more frequently and more severely than they hit their
- Women commit most child murders and 64% of their victims are male children.
- When women murder adults the majority of their victims are men.
- Women commit 52% of spousal killings and are convicted of 41% of spousal murders.
- Eighty two percent of the general population had their first experience of violence at
the hands of women.
Complete scientific citations are included in this report. Leading researchers have
validated the statistics used, "Murray Straus (a sociologist
and co-director for the Family Research Laboratory at the University of New Hampshire) verified the statistics from his report printed by "Sam and
Bunny" (Sam and Bunny are the authors of this report) and Richard Gelles of
the University of Rhode Island and author of Intimate Violence and other studies, also
validated the statistics used by matching it to previous research."
Alice Lovejoy, Brown University. "Counter Punch")
Why we don't know the truth.
How could we all be so mistaken about family violence? Have we been conned? Have we
been taken in by one of the slickest "stings" ever executed? Here is how the
truth has been hidden.
Misleading statistics - Men do not usually report their violent wives to
police. Children do not usually report their violent mothers to the police. Women
are far more likely to report men to the police. One study done of emergency room
patients shows that only 1% of men who were injured by their wives reported the incident
to police. That should be enough to be suspicious of police statistics on spousal
violence. Some women need to call the police because there is a real need for
intervention, however, there is more than one reason for a wife to report a husband.
- Women are encouraged to report spousal violence by countless media reminders. Propaganda
always includes the female victim and the male perpetrator. Men are discouraged from
claiming to be victims of violent women.
- Some wives call police because they are frightened by a minor incident. Perhaps she
thought calling the police was a "trump card" in an argument. These women do not
realize that with one phone call they have invited the government and feminism into their
- Some wives make false reports because there are legal, financial, and child custody
rewards for making a false report.
These factors distort police statistics beyond usefulness to anyone who is sincerely
looking for the truth about family violence. Other factors also contribute to the
truth being hidden and the public being "scammed".
Anti male hate groups- It suits the political agenda of feminists to quote
statistics that make men look bad. Most of the feminist empire depends on their success in
demonizing men. The term "family violence" is familiar to professionals and is
inclusive of violent females. Feminists began to use the term "domestic
violence" while quoting arrest statistics that emphasized male abusers and female
victims. This was necessary so the public focus would be on the only police statistics
that made their scam look believable. Con artists call this the "hook".
The Media - To make the "sting" complete; the media obsequiously seeks
out the womens shelter, or another feminist source, whenever they do a story on
family violence. The feminist party line gets transmitted to the public almost verbatim.
Scientific studies on family violence are ignored or are deliberately censored by most of
Americas media outlets.
This sting has been operating successfully for 30 years. It's time to shut it down!
This misuse of distorted police statistics to push a "female victims" agenda is
widespread and very misleading. Feminists have high jacked the legitimate issue of family
violence and turned it into "Americas Most Successful Political Hoax".
The promotion of family violence myths and misleading statistics detracts from the
importance and scope of the family violence problem. A falsely framed issue skews
understanding and jeopardizes justice. For example, former Massachusetts Bar Association
President Elaine Epstein stated, "It has become essentially impossible to effectively
represent a man against whom any allegation of domestic violence has been made."
The other police statistics you don't hear about
Men and children may not report when they are injured by a woman, however, the dead
bodies of the men and children who are the victims of violent women are usually reported.
Murder statistics are far more reliable than reported abuse statistics. The Bureau of
Justice Statistics released a report of family homicides in 33 urban counties. These
quoted statistics represent convictions only:
- "In spouse murders, women represented 41 percent of killers."
- "In murders of their offspring, women predominated, accounting for 55 percent of
- "Among black marital partners, wives were just about as likely to kill their
husbands as husbands were to kill their wives: 47 percent of the victims of a spouse were
husbands and 53 percent were wives."
This is a long way from the feminist claim that "men are responsible for 90% of
family violence". Those who quote law enforcement statistics to support the
"male villain-female victim" dogma are either misled or deliberately attempting
The hidden victims
The scientific data shows that both men and women are violent to a far greater extent
than police statistics reveal. . This scientific data shows that spousal violence is
mostly unreported. In fact, some degree of violence occurs at a rate of 113 incidents per
1000 couples per year (husband. on wife) and 121 incidents per 1000 couples per year (wife
on husband)! The feminist's use of crime statistics to support their argument gives the
misleading impression that spousal violence is rare.
Many local women's shelters emphasize female victims reported to the police, and ignore
much larger numbers of women, children, and men who are also victims of family violence.
Some leaders in the women's shelter movement are fully aware of the broader scope of
family violence but hold fast to the villain/victim dogma. Why? They must maintain their
power and fund raising base. If they lose their special "victim status" they
will rapidly go out of business.
Feminism Vs Science and the Law
There is much confusion about whom to believe in the debate about spousal violence. On
one side we have womens shelter advocates and feminists who rely on law enforcement
statistics. On the other side we have social scientists who rely on scientifically
structured studies. Unfortunately, the results of scientific studies do not receive media
attention. Americas press is seemingly more interested in political correctness than
scientific accuracy. Therefore, the public perception, and the perception of many
well-intentioned domestic violence activists, is radically skewed away from the more
balanced perception of social scientists.
Many abuse shelter personnel are unaware of the scientific studies, even though they
claim to be "domestic violence experts" and often conduct "training"
sessions for government agencies. How could someone be an expert without awareness of the
scientific studies in their field? There are towns and cities in our country where the
entire legal establishment, including law enforcement, family law attorneys, and judges,
are making decisions about family violence based on political propaganda rather than well
Here is a comment on the subject from a judge who asked for our report. We have rescued
him from any consequences resulting from his candor by disguising his identity.
Dear Revs. Sewell
Thanks for the interesting information. I am a judge in xxxxx who regularly hears
requests for domestic violence orders of protection. The DV issue has been politicized big
time in our area. We judges are ordered to attend "consciousness raising"
seminars where we are harangued by feminist "experts". Supervising judges have
been courted and won over, and now we have annual breakfasts honoring judges who cooperate
with the feminist "agenda".
As a former prosecutor and divorce lawyer I know that the best deterrent to violence by
human beings is arrest, prosecution and appropriate consequences. With well-prepared
cases, vigorous prosecution, and no nonsense consequences the cycle of abuse can be
broken, no matter who the abuser is. Humans become habitual abusers because they get away
with it. It is impossible to make progress in reducing domestic violence until we
recognize that women are violent.
As a member of an advisory committee for the local shelter I was shocked at the
attitudes of the ladies who ran the center: The ONLY solution championed by the shelter
was to get free from that big bad male. The committee expressed concern about the
underlying anti-male bias which even showed up in the name of the shelter and recommended
that the name be changed to The Center for Victims of Abuse - rather than Womens
Anyway, I forwarded your piece on to a couple of other judges - some of whom will
undoubtedly immediately reject its premise.
Judge xxxxxx xxxxxxxxxx
The typical response of the abuse shelter feminists upon first hearing the results of
the scientific studies is to "shoot the messenger". You can almost hear their
minds snap closed. There is an almost cult like "party line" among victim
advocates. Much of the belief system of their "cult" has no more scientific or
rational basis than that of fanatical religious cults.
On the other hand, some abuse agency personnel have not accepted the feminist
"party line"; particularly religiously sponsored family services organizations.
They are eager to have accurate information upon which to plan and implement rational
programs for prevention, intervention, and treatment for abusers and victims of both
Are the family violence "experts" in your community aware of the scientific
studies? What is happening at the abuse shelter in your community?
Spousal Violence in Other Countries
We think it is important to note that there have been the same kind of studies done in
many countries. There is cross-cultural verification that women are more violent than men
in family settings. When behavior has cross-cultural verification it means that it is part
of human nature rather than a result of cultural conditioning. Females are most often the
perpetrators in spousal violence in all cultures that have been studied to date. That
leads many professionals to conclude that there is something biological about violent
females in family situations. Researchers are now exploring the role of the
"territorial imperative" as a factor in womens violence against men. Women
see the home as their territory. Like many other species on the planet, we humans will
ignore size difference when we experience conflict on our own territory. So, the
scientific results that reveal the violence of American women are not unique to our
culture, and do not indicate a special pathology among American women. World wide, women
are more violent than men in family settings.
One of the leading researchers in this field is Susan Steinmetz, Ph.D. She did a
cross-cultural comparison of marital abuse published in Journal of Sociology, and
Social Welfare, entitled "Married Couples from 9 Different Cultures". These
cross-cultural studies yielded results very similar to family violence studies done in the
United States and other nations. Another survey of couples in Canada found the same
familiar pattern in that the rate of severe husband-to-wife violence was 4.8%, while
severe wife-to-husband violence was 10%. Brinkerhoff & Lupri, Canadian Journal of
The Propaganda Problem
Abuse shelter advocates and feminists have severely distorted the picture and
deliberately produce fraudulent statistics and dis-information. Even when they quote
well-grounded statistics, they misuse the information. Here is an example: One of the
favorite statistics quoted by abuse shelter advocates is that a woman is the victim of
spousal violence every 15 seconds. This statistic is deduced from a well conducted piece
of research which was published in the Journal of Marriage and Family, a respected
professional journal for marriage and family therapists. The Abuse Shelter advocates
arrived at this figure by using one of the conclusions of the study, i.e.; 1.8 million
women suffer an assault from a husband or boyfriend per year. What abuse shelter advocates
always fail to report is another finding of the same study, i.e.; 2 million men are
assaulted by a wife or girl friend per year, which translates as, a man is the victim of
spousal violence every 14 seconds. This is typical of the wide spread deception practiced
by abuse shelter advocates. Americas press establishment is a party to this
deception, and shares the blame for exacerbating the problem by helping to perpetuate a
"Knowing what we know, what then must we do?" Leo Tolstoy
Acknowledging that women are abusers leads to better solutions.
Women usually initiate spousal violence episodes (they hit first), and women hit more
frequently, as well as using weapons three times more often then men. This combination of
violent acts means that efforts to find solutions to the family violence problem need to
include appropriate focus on female perpetrators. We need to recognize that women are
violent, and we need nationwide educational programs that portray women as perpetrators.
Other studies show that men are becoming less violent at the same time that women are
becoming more violent. Educating men seems to be working. Educating women to be less
violent should now be the main thrust of public education programs.
Any family violence program which accepts the "male abuser - female victim"
paradigm is based on a false premise. These kind of family violence programs actually
perpetuate the problem of abuse and do not deserve to be supported by private citizens or
government agencies. Many government agencies, and legitimate charities, have been funding
a feminist political cause, rather than funding rational, solution focused, family
violence prevention programs.
What kind of family violence program do you have in your community? Does your local
program encourage the healing of families, or do they take the "divorce"
approach? Does the family violence prevention program in your community devote as much
attention to violent females, as it does to violent males? If not, why not?
Womens shelters are usually feminist front organizations. We need a
family-friendly agency in our community that delivers services to all family members and
works to preserve families, not tear them apart. We dont need a feminist group with
an anti-male, anti-family political ax to grind.
We need to separate gender politics from the issue of family violence. We need to look
at the full spectrum of family violence, not just female victims. We need to consult
scientific studies when we make policy decisions. We cannot hope to implement rational,
solution-focused programs and policies until we face the fact that "behind closed
doors" women are at least as violent as men.
What can I do personally?
- Be informed. Educate yourself about the scientific studies on family violence.
- Copy and distribute reports from Family Resources and Research. We will provide you with
solid research and show you how to conduct an effective family violence education program
in your community (See the contact information below)
Please do your part to strengthen and heal America's families. Thank you for giving
your attention to this important issue.
Revs. Sam and Bunny Sewell
Family Resources and Research
11216 Tamiami Trail North Ste. 223
Naples, FL 34110
A Florida non-profit corporation since 1990
Comparative spousal violence data from three national studies*
*Tables prepared using data from "Change In Spouse Assault Rates From 1975 to
1992: A Comparison
of Three National Surveys In The United States", by Murray A. Straus and Glenda
|MINOR VIOLENT ACTS:
SEVERE VIOLENT ACTS:
|1. Threw something
||1. Kicked/bit/hit with fist
||2. Hit, tried to hit with
|3. Slapped or spanked
||3. Beat up
||4. Threatened with gun or
||5. Used gun or knife
Spousal assaults expressed as rate per 1000 couples
||Assault by husband
they have been severely assaulted by husband
||22 per 1000
they have severely assaulted husband
||59 per 1000
they have been severely assaulted by wives
||32 per 1000
they have severely assaulted wives
||18 per 1000
wives both report wife has been assaulted
||20 per 1000
& wives both report husband has been assaulted
||44 per 1000
The study below is typical of the results of scientific studies on family violence done
in many nations. This Canadian study was done by Reena Sommer, Ph.D. a research
associate with the Manitoba Centre for Health Policy and Evaluation.
Female vs. male perpetrated violence as a percentage of all respondents:
||% of females
||% of males
|threw an object
(not at partner)
|threaten to throw object
|threw object at partner
|pushed, or grabbed
|slapped, punched, kicked
|Violence as self
|My partner needed medical
More citations of scientific studies included after News Clips
Below are some exceptions to the usual media silence on science based
stories on family violence.
Spouse Abuse a Two-Way Street By Warren Farrell, Ph.D. USA Today June 29, 1994
Just as bad cases make bad laws, so can celebrity cases reinforce old myths. The
biggest myth the O.J. Simpson case is likely to reinforce is the myth that domestic
violence is a one way street (male-to-female), and its corollary, that male violence
against women is an outgrowth of masculinity.
When I began seven years of research into these issues in preparation for "The
Myth of Male Power", I began with these two assumptions since I had been the only man
in the United States to have been elected three times to the Board of Directors of the
National Organization of Women in New York City, and these assumptions went unquestioned
in feminist circles.
My first finding - that in the U.S. and Canada more than 90% of the domestic violence
reports to the police were by women, not men - seemed to confirm these assumptions. But,
then the picture became more complex. About a dozen studies in the U.S. and Canada asked
BOTH sexes how often they hit each other, all of them found that women hit men either more
frequently or about as often as the reverse.
Two of the main studies - by Suzanne Steinmetz, Murray Straus and Richard Gelles -
assumed men hit women more severely, so they divided domestic violence into seven
different levels of severity. They were surprised to discover that, overall, the more
severe levels of violence were conducted more by women against men.
A caveat, though. Men hitting women did more damage than the reverse. However, this
caveat carried its own caveat: it was exactly because mens hits hurt more that women
resorted to more severe methods (i.e. tossing boiling water over her husband or swinging a
frying pan into his face). These findings were supported by the Census Bureaus own
survey: As early as 1977, the U.S. Census Bureau conducted the National Crime Survey,
surveying 60,000 households every six months for three and one half years. They found
women use weapons against men 82% of the time; men use weapons against women 25% of the
time. Overall, they found that even the women acknowledged they hit men more than men hit
The key issue, though, is who initiates this cycle of violence. Steinmetz, Strauss and
Gelles found to their initial surprise that women are more likely to be the first
initiators. Why? In part, the belief that men can take it - - they can therefore be a
punching bag and not be expected to hit back.
I was still a bit incredulous. I asked thousands of men and women in my workshops to
count all the relationships in which they had hit their partner before their partner had
ever it them. and vice versa. About 60% of the women acknowledged they had more often been
the first to strike a blow: among the men, about 90% felt their female partner had been
the first to strike a blow.
I still felt violence was an out growth of masculinity. I was half right. Men are
responsible for most of the violence which occurs outside the home. However, when 54% of
women in lesbian relationships acknowledge violence in their current relationship, vs.
only 11% of heterosexual couples reporting violence, I realized that domestic violence is
not an outgrowth of male biology.
Why do we vigorously denounce domestic violence against women and not even know about
domestic violence against men?
Women Abuse Men: Its More Widespread Than People Think
Excerpt from Special supplement to The Washington Post, December 28, 1993 By Armin A.
"Despite all the evidence about female-on-male violence, many groups actively try
to suppress coverage of the issue. Steinmetz received verbal threats and anonymous phone
calls from radical womens groups threatening to harm her children after she
published "The Battered Husband Syndrome" in 1978. She says she finds it ironic
that the same people who claim that women- initiated violence is purely self defense are
so quick to threaten violence against people who do nothing more than publish a scientific
Steinmetzs story is not unique. Ten years after that study, R.L. McNeely, a
professor at the School of Social Welfare at the University of Wisconsin, and Gloria
Robinson-Simpson published "The Truth About Domestic Violence: A Falsely Framed
Issue." The article examined various studies on domestic violence and concluded that
society must recognize that men are victims "or we will be addressing only part of
Shortly thereafter, McNeely received letters from a Pennsylvania womens
organization threatening to use its influence in Washington to pull his research funding.
Robinson-Simpson, who uncovered some of the most important data, largely was left alone.
According to McNeely, "she, a young assistant professor, was assumed to have been
duped" by the senior male professor." (end quote)
Researcher Claims Abuse Shelter Advocates Make the Problem Worse
Washington Times Jan 31, 1994, Joyce Price
Murray A. Straus, a sociologist and co-director for the Family Research Laboratory at
the University of New Hampshire, blames "women in the battered [womens] shelter
movement" for denying that women physically abuse husbands, ex-husbands and
boyfriends, or playing down such abuse. "Theres this fiction in the shelter
movement that in all cases, its him, not her" whos responsible for
domestic assaults", Mr. Straus said in a recent interview.
Mr. Straus said that at least 30 studies of domestic violence - including some
hes conducted - have shown both sexes to be equally culpable. But he said some of
the research, such as a recent Canadian national survey, "left out data on women
abusing men ... because its politically embarrassing." Women and men "are
almost identical" in terms of the frequency of attacks such as slapping, shoving, and
kicking, Mr. Straus said.
Using information on married couples obtained from 2,994 women in the 1985 National
Family Violence Survey, Mr. Straus said he found a rate for assaults by wives of 124 per
1,000 couples, compared with 122 per 1,000 for assaults by husbands.
The rate of minor assaults by wives was 78 per 1,000 couples, and the rate of minor
assaults by husbands was 72 per 1,000, he said. For the category of severe assaults, he
said, the rate was 46 per 1,000 couples for assaults by wives and 50 per 1,000 for
assaults by husbands. "Neither difference is statistically different,"* Mr.
Straus wrote in the journal Issues in Definition and Measurement. "As these rates are
based exclusively on information provided by women respondents, the near equality in
assault rates cannot be attributed to a gender bias in reporting." (end quote)
*Dr. Strauss statistics do not reflect the latest study done by the Family
Claims of husband-beating gain prominence
by Alice Lovejoy - Brown University October 1997
October 1 marks the beginning of Domestic Abuse Awareness Month. Though most people
believe this issue to be one-sided, there are forces at work attempting to modify common
perceptions of domestic abuse. Armed with scientific data and polls, a select group of
private individuals, as well as publicly funded researchers, purport that men are the
victims of physical domestic abuse at rates equal to or even greater than women. For every
Wilfredo Cordero, the Boston Red Sox player recently accused of assaulting his wife, these
factions claim there is a woman somewhere slapping her husband.
Sam and Bunny Sewell
Two main proponents of this uncharted attitude towards domestic abuse are Sam and Bunny
Sewell. The couple, from Naples, Florida, runs the "Best Self Clinic," a group
which provides counseling to couples. In the course of their work, the Sewells found an
unusually large number of cases in which domestic violence was initiated by women. The
couple, in the clinics web page, explores the distinction between "LOVE"
("non-possessive and admiring") and "love" (a kind of attachment which
denotes a "lack of emotional self-sufficiency"). In relation to their concept of
"LOVE" as a solution to domestic problems, and in support of the idea that
violence in relationships must stem from a lack of "LOVE," the Sewells have
attempted to publicize the supposedly forgotten half of domestic abuse, that directed by
women against men.
Sam and Bunny, in a mass e-mailing to various news organizations, quote Change in
Spouse Abuse Rates from 1975 to 1992: A Comparison of Three National Surveys, a study by
Murray A. Straus and Glenda Kaufman Kantor of the University of New Hampshires
Family Research Laboratory. The study found that, per 1,000 couples, 92 reported minor
assaults such as pushing, grabbing and slapping, by the husband. Surprisingly, though, the
study reported a rate of 94 minor assaults by the wife. 19 couples reported severe
assaults such as kicking, biting, punching, or using a gun or knife, by the husband. Yet
44 couples reported severe assault by the wife, meaning that women are perpetrators of the
crime at more than twice the rate of their male counterparts.
"The Mens Issues Page" quotes a 1989 study in the Journal of Consulting
and Clinical Psychology, "Prevalence and Stability of Physical Aggression Between
Spouses" that found that women were, overall, more often the aggressor in
relationships than men. In unmarried couples, 31.2% of men and 44.4% of women had engaged
in aggressive behavior. After eighteen months of marriage, these statistics changed to
26.8% of men and 35.9% of women. After twenty months of marriage, the numbers decreased to
24.6% and 32.2%, but maintained the notable discrepancy. Further, this study found that
"the lower rates of overall aggression for men were not offset by higher rates of
more severe type of aggression." The same page uses a third study, The Marriage
License as Hitting License: A Comparison of Assaults in Dating, Cohabiting and Married
Couples which states similar findings showing that women are more often the aggressor in a
Lash or backlash
In contrast to the vocal advocacy for battered women, claims that men are often the
victims of domestic abuse are likely to be dismissed as a mere backlash against
todays "politically-correct" sensibilities. Yet the data about
husband-beating is, to a large degree, valid. Murray Straus verified the statistics from
his report printed by "Sam and Bunny" and Richard Gelles of the University of
Rhode Island and author of Intimate Violence and other studies, also validated the
statistics used by matching it to previous research.
In fact, Gelles most recent research supported his earlier data in finding that,
in a quarter of domestic relationships, violence is exclusively male against female. In a
second quarter of these relationships, violence is exclusively female against male. In the
remaining half, violence is bi-directional, with an equal likelihood of initiation from
either men or women. Yet anecdotal evidence on the part of womens groups and police
blotters suggests that the numerous studies detailing female violence are wrong or
exaggerated. Domestic violence advocacy groups claim that most violence by women against
men can be explained by examining the context of the violence; that it is, to a large
degree, in reaction to violence or threats that women use violence against their spouse or
partner. Deb de Bare, of the Rhode Island Coalition Against Domestic Violence, stated
"from our perspective, research is often misleading. This is an example of exactly
that. Research might interpret the number of times someone was hit, but may not get the
context. Women might react and slap, and the research would document that as abuse. The
reality that we see is that well over ninety percent of cases of domestic violence involve
women as victims. We see domestic abuse as the whole pattern of behavior in an abusive
Gelles would argue, however, that womens violence cannot be attributed to only
self-defense in such a large percentage of cases. Domestic violence, like any form of
abuse, is often a learned behavior. Victims of child abuse are more likely to abuse both
their own children and their spouse or partner. Violence, to victims of abuse, is a way of
expressing anger, which becomes a normalized means to interact with ones partner.
This is not to undermine the number of cases in which violence is a direct reaction to
threats or aggression; these cases address an issue critical in the problem of violent
relationships in general.
Looking in the mirror
The difficulty in assigning blame for domestic violence is evident in Gelles
study of unmarried college-age heterosexual couples. In these relationships, violence is
perfectly symmetrical between men and women. Gelles termed these "modern aggressive
relationships": anger is translated as verbal or physical abuse. Though these
relationships are just as violent as "traditional" cases of domestic violence,
they receive little attention; abuse has become an accepted part of relationships between
men and women of this age group. The violence of this particular portion of abuse came to
the fore recently when last month a woman at the University of Michigan was killed by her
own boyfriend, stabbed repeatedly by a kitchen knife. Claiming that "nobody wants to
present the balanced view," Gelles is dismayed that statistical facts are
ceaselessly debated over while the victims of abuse gain little. Rhode Island, for
instance, has standards for treating victims of domestic abuse which dictate a certain
number of weeks for treatment, as well as a standardized and specific treatment content.
In Gelles opinion, these standards are "guaranteed to be ineffective"
because they do not examine specific cases or situations of abuse. Thus, individuals with
violent childhood experiences, though "treated", return to relationships only to
maintain a previous pattern of abuse.
Proponents of the husband-beating statistics see identity politics as an impediment to
the eradication of violence in the home. Sam Sewell asserted that "a solution to [the
domestic violence] problem requires that gender politics be excluded." Gelles agreed,
arguing that the only remedy to domestic abuse will come when advocates use "informed
scientific judgment" to determine treatment standards, and when the focus of the
domestic violence debate shifts from a search for the "real" victims to a search
for a solution.
Domestic abuse: Its not always his fault
Scripps Howard News Service 8/18/97 by Betsy Hart
Not long ago members of Virginias General Assembly considered a bill meant to
keep husbands from abusing their wives: putting a warning label at the top of marriage
licenses! It didnt get far. (Possibly calmer heads prevailed and pointed out that
its non marital relationships that are a major risk factor for abuse.)
Still, this attempt highlights the prevailing notion in domestic violence circles that
"its always his fault." That, in fact, is the title of the cover article
in the summer issue of "The Womens Quarterly, " published by the
Independent Womens Forum, an increasingly high-profile group thats kind of an
antidote to the National Organization for Women.
Author Sally L. Satel, psychiatrist and Yale medical school lecturer, shows how
accepted Gloria Steinems assertion that "the patriarchy requires violence in
order to maintain itself" has become. I.e., abusive men arent criminals, or
drunks, or particularly troubled people some of whom may be redeemed. They are just men.
The Chicago Metropolitan Battered Womens Network explains: "Battery is a
fulfillment of cultural expectation, not a defiant or sick behavior." This view
pervades the activist groups dealing with this issue, and the bureaucracies that fund them
with federal dollars.
Today a dozen states basically preclude treatment other than feminist therapy of
domestic batterers, Satel notes, and more are following. Forget joint counseling when
appropriate and desired. Involving the batterers mate in treatment amounts to
"blaming the victim .
That, despite the fact that many abuse experts unhindered by feminist blinders
recognize abuse is often part of a "dance of mutual destructiveness" as
psychologist Judith Shervin writes. And that women initiate violence in cohabiting
relationships as often as men (often using weapons to make up for physical differences)
according to leading abuse researchers-widely respected across philosophical lines -
Richard Gelles and Murray Straus.
No matter. "Don," a college administrator arrested for once slapping his wife
(they are still together) was required to attend a typical "abuse" program.
Every week "the message was clear," Don told Satel. "Whatever she does to
you is your fault, whatever you do to her is your fault. It would have been a lot more
helpful if they taught us to recognize when we felt ourselves being driven into a position
where we lash out. The message should have been "recognize it, deal with it, and quit
hitting." All Don got was guilt about his maleness.
Hand in hand with this agenda are feminist backed "must arrest" and similar
legal policies which exist in hundreds of jurisdictions. These require police to arrest
one partner-almost always the man-when called to a domestic dispute. Even when things have
completely cooled down, there was no hitting, and the woman doesnt want the man
Common "no-drop" polices do not allow a woman to drop abuse charges once
theyre filed, even if her motive was anger, not fear. In California, it is mandatory
for judges to issue a restraining order separating the parties in all domestic violence
Such practices treat women like children, and ensure that if couples stay together-and
most in fact do-nothing really changes, Satel writes, though the woman might mistakenly
and dangerously be led to believe it has. While there is virtually no convincing data that
this feminist approach to male violence is effective, Satel notes, several respected
studies suggest that these typical legal practices can escalate spousal violence in some
men by further enraging them.
The goal of these feminist treatments and legal responses, Satel says, is to separate
women from their abusive partner -no matter what the circumstances, and no matter how
fervently the women wish otherwise.
These "one size fits all" policies might make a bit more sense if
"abuse" always meant serious, systematic violence. But the feminist
politicization of the term "abuse" renders it virtually meaningless. A typical
check-list, this from the Westchester Coalition of Family Violence agencies, tells women
that if their partner behaves in "an overprotective manner," "turns minor
incidents into major arguments" or "insults you," then "you might be
Sometimes, of course, no redemption is possible, and leaving, or ensuring the violent
spouse is locked up (preferably for good), is the only answer. And Satel rightly notes
that the feminist agenda in this area has forced law enforcement to take domestic abuse
But once again, the radical feminist agenda of "man bad woman good" has
permeated the culture on an a fundamentally important issue, and once again it has done a
terrible disservice to the constituency feminists are supposed to help-women.
Betsy Hart, a former White House spokesman, is a weekly commentator on MS-NBC
Citations for scientific studies of domestic violence
Gelles, R.J. The violent home: A study of physical aggression between husbands and
wives In 1974, a study was done which compared male and female domestic violence. In
that study, it was found that 47% of husbands had used physical violence on their wives,
and 33% of wives had used violence on their husbands (Gelles 1974). Half of the
respondents in this study were selected from either cases of domestic violence reported to
the police, or those identified by the social service agency. Very few men report being
assaulted by their wives. This accounts for the lowered statistic for violent females,
however it would be foolish to ignore 33% of the problem even if this was the only study
available. Later studies are more accurate.
Chesanow, Neil, Violence at Home New Woman, February 1992, pg. 96-98. [Note: This
is a very interesting article which appeared in a womens magazine, and argues that
women are equally violent towards men in intimate relationships. One of the bases for
Chesanows arguments is that domestic violence among lesbian intimates is as common
as domestic violence among heterosexual intimatesbased on crime statistics.]
Curtis, L.A. Criminal violence: National patterns and behavior Lexington Books
Lexington MA, In 1974, a study was released showing that the number of murders of
women by men (17.5% of total homicides) was about the same as the number of murders of men
by women (16.4% of total homicides). This study (Curtis 1974), however, showed that men
were three times as likely to assault women as vice-versa. These statistics came from
Wolfgang, M. Patterns in Criminal Homicide Wiley, New York, 1958
Mercy, J.A. & Saltzman, L.E. "Fatal violence among spouses in the United
States, 1976-85" American Journal of Public Health 79(5): 595-9 May 1989 Curtiss
murder statistic (above study) was no big news. In 1958, an investigation of spousal
homicide between 1948 and 1952 found that 7.8% of murder victims were husbands murdered by
wives, and 8% were wives murdered by husbands (Wolfgang 1958). More recently, in a study
of spousal homicide in the period from 1976 to 1985, it was found that there was an
overall ratio of 1.3:1.0 of murdered wives to murdered husbands, and that "Black
husbands were at greater risk of spouse homicide victimization than black wives or white
spouses of either sex." (Mercy & Saltzman 1989)
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive and abusive family
interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The Battered Husband Syndrome Victimology 2, 1977-1978 In
1977, Suzanne Steinmetz released results from several studies showing that the percentage
of wives who have used physical violence is higher than the percentage of husbands, and
that the wives average violence score tended to be higher, although men were
somewhat more likely to cause greater injury. She also found that women were as likely as
men to initiate physical violence, and that they had similar motives for their violent
acts (Steinmetz 1977-78).
Nisonoff, L. & Bitman, I Spouse Abuse: Incidence and Relationship to Selected
Demographic Variables, Victimology 4, 1979, pp. 131-140 In 1979, a telephone survey
was conducted in which subjects were asked about their experiences of domestic violence
(Nisonoff & Bitman 1979). 15.5% of the men and 11.3% of the women reported having hit
their spouse; 18.6% of the men and 12.7% of the women reported having been hit by their
Straus, M.A., Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behind closed doors: Violence in
American families, Doubleday, NewYork, 1980 In 1980, a team of researchers, including
Steinmetz, attempted to address some concerns about the earlier surveys (Straus, Gelles
& Steinmetz, 1980). They created a nationally representative study of family violence
and found that the total violence scores seemed to be about even between husbands and
wives, and that wives tended to be more abusive in almost all categories except pushing
Straus, M.A. & Gelles, R.J. "Societal change and change in family violence
from 1975 to 1985 as revealed by two national surveys" Journal of Marriage and the
Family 48, po. 465-479, 1986 Straus & Gelles did a followup survey in 1985,
comparing their data to a 1975 survey (Straus & Gelles 1986). They found that in that
decade, domestic violence against women dropped from 12.1% of women to 11.3% while
domestic violence against men rose from 11.6% to 12.1%. The rate of severely violent
incidents dropped for both groups: From 3.8% to 3.0% of women victimized and from 4.6% to
4.4% for men.
Sexuality Today Newsletter "Violence in Adolescent Dating Relationships Common,
New Survey Reveals" December 22, 1986 In 1986, a report appeared in Social Work,
the journal of the National Association of Social Workers (Nov./Dec. 1986) on violence in
adolescent dating relationships, in which it was found that girls were violent more
frequently than boys.
OLeary, K. Daniel; Arias, Ilena; Rosenbaum, Alan & Barling, Julian
"Premarital Physical Aggression" State University of New York at Stony Brook
& Syracuse University Another report on premarital violence (OLeary, et al)
found that 34% of the males and 40% of the females reported engaging in some form of
physical aggression against their mates in a year. 17% of women and 7% of men reported
engaging in severe physical aggression. 35% of the men and 30% of the women reported
having been abused.
Daly, M. & Wilson, M. "Parent-Offspring Homicides in Canada, 1974-1983"
Science v. 242, pp. 519-524, 1988Nagi, Saad Child Maltreatment in the United States
Columbia University Press, New York,
Statistical Abstract of the United States 1987 table 277 The idea of women being
violent is a hard thing for many people to believe. It goes against the stereotype of the
passive and helpless female. This, in spite of the fact that women are known to be more
likely than men to commit child abuse and child murder (Daly & Wilson 1988 report 54%
of parent-child murders where the child is under 17 were committed by the mother in Canada
between 1974 and 1983, for instance. The Statistical Abstract of the United States 1987
reports that of reported child maltreatment cases between 1980 and 1984 between 57.0% and
61.4% of these were perpetrated by the mother. Nagi 1977 found 53.1% of perpetrators were
female, 21% male and 22.6% both.
Nisonoff, L. & Bitman, I "Spouse Abuse: Incidence and Relationship to Selected
Demographic Variables" Victimology 4, 1979, pp. 131-140 found that men and women
reported quite similar instances of violence both by them and by their partner.
"The Battered Husband Syndrome" Victimology 2, 1977-1978, p. 499
Steinmetz, Suzanne K. The cycle of violence: Assertive, aggressive
and abusive family interaction Praeger Press, New York, 1977 found that wives were
"more" violent than husbands. Steinmetz later left the field of domestic
violence studies after alleging that infuriated feminists had made death threats against
Wolfgang, M. Patterns in Criminal Homicide, Wiley, New York, 1958
Mercy, J.A. & Saltzman, L.E. "Fatal violence among spouses in the United
States, 1976-85" American Journal of Public Health 79(5):595-9 May 1989 Two
studies, 30 years apart, showing that on average wives kill husbands at a similar rate to
that at which husbands kill wives.
Straus, Murray, Gelles, R.J., and Steinmetz, S.K. Behind closed doors: Violence in
American families, Doubleday, New York, 1980 addressed earlier methodological
problems, shows spousal abuse to be almost gender-neutral in almost all categories of
Straus, Murray" & Gelles, R.J. "Societal change and change in family
violence from 1975 to 1985 as revealed by two national surveys" Journal of Marriage
and the Family 48, po. 465-479, 1986 shows that domestic violence by women is
increasing and violence by men is decreasing. A more recent study, reported at a
conference by Straus, shows the trend is continuing
Jurik & Gregware 1989 and Mann 1990. You will find that much fewer than half
the female murderers have history of being beaten. Most women who murder their husbands
are impulsive, violent, and have criminal records. Jurik (1989) and Jurik and
Gregwares (1989) investigation of 24 cases in which women killed husbands or lovers
found that the victim initiated use of physical forces in (40%) of the cases. Jurik and
Gregwares Table 2 shows that only 5 out of the 24 homicides (21%) were in response
to "prior abuse" or "threat of abuse/death." Manns (1990) study
of the circumstances surrounding partner homicides by wives shows that many women who
murder their spouses are impulsive, violent, and have criminal records. Jurik (1989) and
Jurik and Gregware (1989) also report that 60% of the women they studied had previous
Jurik, N. C. (1989 November).Women who kill and the reasonable man: The legal issues
surounding female-perpetrated homicide. Paper presented at the 41st Annual
Meeting of the American Society of Criminology, Reno, NV.
Jurik & Gregware (1989) "A method for murder: An interactionist analysis of
homicides by women. Tempe: Arizona State University, School of Justice Studies.
Mann, C. R. (1990). Black female homicide in the United States, Journal of
Interpersonal Violence, 5, 176-201.
OLeary KD. Barling J. Arias I. Rosenbaum A. Malone J. Tyree A. April, 1989.
Prevalence and stability of physical aggression between spouses: a longitudinal analysis.
Journal of Consulting & Clinical Psychology. 57(2):263-8. Community couples (N = 272)
were assessed in a longitudinal study of early marriage. More women than men reported
physically aggressing against their partners at premarriage (44% vs. 31%) and 18 months
(36% vs. 27%). At 30 months, men and women did not report significantly different rates of
aggression (32% vs. 25%). However, using either the self-report or the partners
report, the prevalence of aggression was higher for women than men at each assessment
period. Modal forms of physical aggression for both men and women were pushing, shoving,
and slapping. Conditional probability analyses indicated that the likelihood of physically
aggressing at 30 months given that one had engaged in such aggression before marriage and
at 18 months after marriage was .72 for women and .59 for men. Furthermore, 25-30% of the
recipients of physical aggression at all three assessment periods were seriously maritally
discordant at 30 months.
Spousal Abuse Rates - Stats from UCR and Straus, Gelles The data from the US
National Crime Survey (NCS) states that 84% of the victims of "intimate"
violence were female. ("Highlights from 20 years of Surveying Crime Victims",
NCJ-144525.) It also puts the occurrence of this violent crime (from "intimates
only") at 5.4 female victims per 1000 women per year - this is all crimes, some of
which did not involve injury. For comparison, the rate for "Accidental injury,
all circumstances" is given as 220 per 1000 adults per year - a figure 40 times
higher. If one ac-cepts data such as that from the NCS, one must (at least if one is
consistent and intellectually honest) admit that such violence is rare. The picture
changes, though, when different techniques of investigation (methodologies) are used, such
as those by "Straus, Murray" and Gelles. This data shows that domestic violence
is MUCH more common. In fact, some degree of violence (NOT injury, however) occurs at a
rate of 113 incidents per 1000 couples per year (hus-band on wife) and 121 incidents per
1000 couples pr year (wife on husband)! This is 20x the rate that the NCS reports.
Family Homicides - rates by gender - DoJ, 94 In July 1994 the Bureau of Justice
Statistics of the U.S. Department of Justice released a Special Report detailing the
results of a survey of family homicides in 33 urban U.S. counties. The report covered ONLY
convictions, which should respond to any contention that female-on-male family violence is
almost always reactive. The report said: "A third of family murders involved a female
as the killer. In sibling murders, females were 15 percent of killers, and in murders of
parents, 18 percent. But in spouse murders, women represented 41 percent of killers. In
murders of their offspring, women predominated, accounting for 55 percent of
"Among black marital partners, wives were just about as likely to kill their
husbands as husbands were to kill their wives: 47 percent of the victims of a spouse were
husbands and 53 percent were wives." U.S. Department of Justice
Conflict Tactics Scales To give a little background on how the rates of violence
were determined, by "Straus, & Gelles", we include the following question
from the published survey for the CTS methodology:
Question 35: No matter how well a couple gets along, there are times when they
disagree, get annoyed with the other person, or just have spats or fights because
theyre in a bad mood or tired or for some other reason. They also use many different
ways of trying to settle their differences. Im going to read some things that you
and your spouse might do when you have an argument. I would like you to tell me how many
times in the last 12 months you:
a. Discussed the issue calmly
b. Got information to back up your side of things
c. Brought in or tried to bring in someone to help settle things
d. Insulted or swore at the other one
e. Sulked and/or refused to talk about it
f. Stormed out of the room or house (or yard)
h. Did or said something to spite the other one
i. Threatened to hit or throw something at the other one
j. Threw or smashed or hit or kicked something
k. Threw something at the other one
l. Pushed, grabbed, or shoved the other one
m. Slapped the other one
n. Kicked, butted, or hit with a fist
o. Hit, or tried to hit with something
p. Beat up the other one
q. Threatened with a knife or gun
r. Used a knife or gun
To summarize, Straus & Gelles, using the CTS methodology described above, found
that rates for total (including less severe violence, such as pushing and shoving) between
husbands and wives are quite close for husbands and wives, with one survey showing
husbands as more violent and the other with wives as more violent .
Other data, however indicates that the gender of the striker of the first blow is
fairly uniform. Jan. E States and Murray A Straus, "Gender Differences in Reporting
Marital Violence and Its Medical and Psychological Consequences", ch 9 in
Straus & Gelles Physical Violence in American Families quote the following: Men
claimed they struck the first blow in 44% of the cases, their female partners in 44% of
the cases, and "couldnt remember" in 12% of the cases. The women claimed
men hit them first in 43% of the cases, that they struck the first blow in 53% of the
cases, and "couldnt remember" in 5% of the cases. However, data for injury
rates based on these studies shows women seeking treatment for a doctor much more often
than men did. In a study of 8145 families 7.3% of 137 women severely assaulted (i.e. 10
out of 137) and 1% of 95 men severely assaulted (i.e 1 out of 95) men needed a doctor.
(All figures are rates per 1000 couples per year, and the CTS figures are based on two
national surveys of a representative population sample)
Recent Trends in Spousal Violence - Dept of Justice The U.S. Department of Justice
released a study on domestic violence and spousal homicides on July 11, 1994. In this
study it is reported that women kill men at approximately the same rate as men kill women
in "spousal" homicides. (A "spousal" homicide is a husband or wife
killing the other or a homicide perpetrated by a common-law marriage partner on the other
partner.) In addition this study also reported that children were killed by mothers in 55%
of all parental homicides. The 13th World Congress of Sociology, on July 19,
1994 revealed the average of spousal violence reports by males and females: Husband on
wife severe assault occurred at a rate of 2.0%, whereas wife on husband severe assault
occurred at a rate of 4.6%, and Husband on wife minor assault occurred at a rate of 9.9%,
whereas wife on husband assault occurred at a rate of 9.5%. A rate of 2.0% means that
during 1992 there were 20 instances of severe husband on wife assault for every 1000
Also reported at the conference was the fact that although male on female violence has
been slowly decreasing over the last decade, female on male violence is now increasing
Various Spousal Violence Stats In 1975 and again in 1985, Murray A. Straus and
Richard J. Gelles and others conducted one of the largest and most respected studies in
family violence ever done. What they found confounded conventional wisdom on the subject:
Not only are men just as likely to be the victims of domestic violence as women, the study
showed that between 1975 and 1985, the overall rate of domestic violence by men against
women decreased, while womens violence against men increased. Responding to
accusations of gender bias, Straus re-computed the assault rates based solely on the
responses of the women in the 1985 study and confirmed that even according to women, men
are the ones more likely to be assaulted by their partner.
There is no question that while men on average are bigger and stronger than women, they
can do more damage in a fistfight. However according to Professors R.L. McNeely and Cormae
Richey Mann, "the average mans size and strength are neutralized by guns and
knives, boiling water, bricks, fireplace pokers and baseball bats."
A 1984 study of 6,200 cases found that 86% of female-on-male violence involved weapons,
contrasted with 25% in cases of male-on-female violence. McLeod, Justice Quarterly (2)
1984 pp. 171-193. Of every 100 families, 3.8 experience severe husband-to-wife violence,
but 4.5% experience severe wife-to-husband violence. (Straus, Gelles, Steinmetz , Behind
Closed Doors: Violence in American Families (1980). A 1985 study of Texas University
students, Breen found that 18% of men and 14% of women reported a violent act by a
romantic partner. In the same study, 28% of married men reported that their wives had
slapped, punched or kicked them. (Shupe, Stacey & Hazlewood). "Violent Men,
Violent Couples (1986) Chapter 3. In another study, 15.5% of men and 11.3% of women
reported having hit a spouse while 18.6% of men and 12% of women reported been struck by a
spouse. Nisnoff & Bitman, Victimology 4, (1979), pp. 131-140.
Sample of e-mail responses to our National Domestic Violence Education
(some edited to preserve privacy)
Sam and Bunny:
I very much appreciate your update. Your work is very important in the never ending
battle for fairness
among the sexes in our Courts. These reports are so packed with data and information,
that they simply
cannot be disputed.
Robert SpeerAttorney Atlanta, GA
Dear Sam & Bunny
The info you provide is compelling. This is particularly so to one such as I who, as an
ex-cop, recognizes the under-reporting of "female on male" violence as a
consequence of "macho image protection." Similarly, husbands were (as I remember
my limited experiences) more inclined to claim "innocent" causes of injuries to
children when they had been committed by the wife than was the case when the situation was
reversed and the batterer was the husband.
Keep up the good work.
high school teacher./ex-cop
Dear Sam and Bunny
I absolutely loved your M.A.L.E. web page!! It is positively the greatest thing on the
As a white male, I have been portrayed as the root of all evil. I was responsible for
the war in Vietnam. I was responsible for the plight of blacks and other people of color.
I was to blame for the miseries of women. I alone, bore the burden of polluting the
While all this was going on, I was working as many jobs as I could so that I could go
full time to college. I got married and worked 60+ hours a week just to keep our heads
above water. I dont ever remember oppressing anyone. I was too busy working and
studying to do that. I could never figure out why I was the bad guy, when I was working so
hard to keep a wife, a child, and myself out of poverty.
While it is true I will never be a woman, I have a wife. I have a mother. I have
sisters. I have many friends who are women. I work with lots of women. I do not have a
daughter but if I did, I would love her very much. To suggest that womens issues are
not important to me (such as breast cancer) is to be extremely misleading. I want my wife
and the women in my life to be treated with respect. I want them to have equal pay for
equal work and a turn at bat.
But unfortunately, there seems to be some groups out there who insist upon portraying
women as victims. Who seem intent on portraying men and women as enemies. But as long as
there are courageous, truth telling Americans, such as yourself, the world will be a
You can bet I will pass this information on to my sociology students.
Many thanks, sincerely
Prof. of Sociology
Note from a professional who is doing "family friendly" domestic violence
Subject: Domestic Violence Programs and Native Americans - Not PC Enough
It is extremely refreshing to see a balance reached in the field of domestic abuse,
i.e., that violence is more or less equal between men and women.
I operate a Domestic Violence program for couples only (Native in orientation and
philosophy) in Terrace, B.C. Out of 126 people involved in our program we found the
violence to be mutual both in degree and numbers. We have also faced serious opposition
from a small but vocal group of non-native women over the last five years.
We have found that it is almost impossible to attain funding for our native programs
because our traditional values towards families are not politically correct, i.e., they
are family orientated. Our solutions to family violence are based on both people taking
full responsibility for their behaviour, and not to fall into the "Blame Game."
Unfortunately, current non-native approaches to family violence appear to be based on
male-bashing, rather than healing relationships between people. We estimate that we have
had about a 95% success rate to date. We do continuous follow-ups with our couples.
Maurice L.B. Oates Jr., M.A (Ya-ga-hloo)
First of all, I'm sorry for my bad English...
I have received your article "Facts About Domestic Violence You Will Not See In
The Media"; thank you!
I have published your article on the pages of my family law internet magazine, and it
was liked to many readers.
I like also receive other your articles, for the same matter.
Italian Family Law Attorney
Dear Sam & Bunny
I couldnt have said it better myself.... I have a male friend who has been
fighting a domestic violence charge for almost 2 years. (Let met state here that I have
never considered myself a feminist, for the very reasons stated in your article. Equality
I believe, but not unfair advantage) It wasnt until my friend shared his current
dilemma that I realized how unjust and unfair and biased our entire society has become. He
has personally seen documentation of the anti male bias in domestic court. His rights have
been repeatedly violated. Everyone assumes that he must be guilty...hes a man, of
He has a vast amount of documentation in favor of his innocence and proof of numerous
injustices by law enforcement, the courts and judicial system.
We would love to speak to you in more detail. And, we are extremely interested in any
solutions, suggestions or assistance you, or others like you might be able to offer.
Please respond quickly.
Real Estate Agent in California
Dear Best Self USA
Though I can imagine the vitriolic responses youre getting, I > appreciate
receiving your message. While I dont have the knowledge to assess its accuracy, I
dont doubt that it is factual. I run one of the webs major legal info site,
The Lectric Law Library, with 12,000+ hits a day and would like to post the message in
appropriate areas of the Library.
Is this OK? If so, is it OK to leave your names/e-mail address intact, or would you
prefer to remain anonymous?
"Best legal resource that we have come across on the Web" - CNN
"The most complete law library on the Web" - Point Reviews
Dear Best Self Clinic,
I am the editor of the xxxxx Family Law REPORTER published by a leading legal
publisher, "Butterworths". This publication is a monthly digest of case law
commentary. Its subscribers exceed 400 and are largely Canadian family
law practitioners and judges and a number of adjunct helping professionals.
> (court appointed clinical assessors etc.) County libraries and law schools >
subscribe as well. I would like to consider publishing your "Facts About >
Domestic Violence You Will Not See...". Please let me know if I have your >
authority to do so. We can not offer any remuneration, nor have we at any time > in the
past for any of the commentaries or monographs that are prepared and > published. Thank
Family Law Journal Editor
Thank you very much for your report. I represent many men accused of family violence
and victimized by the very misunderstanding you are trying to correct.
Thank you for sharing the research with me. You must have read my column on alleged
gender bias in schools. Did you see it in the xxxxxx Sun or in the xxxxxx News? Its
interesting that Ms. Sommers in Canada has the same name as Professor Christina Hoff
Sommers, from whose book "Who Stole Feminism" I got most of my data for the
column. Christina Sommers is a professor of philosophy at Clark University in
Massachusetts. If you havent read her book, I recommend you check it out. It points
out much of the same kinds contradictions mentioned in the research you sent.
Dear Sam & Bunny,
Thank you for the information on Domestic Violence. I found your research
thought-provoking and informative. Your viewpoint is very interesting, and I will take the
information provided in serious consideration when dealing with this very important issue.
Prosecuting Attorney Michigan
Dear Sam & Bunny Sewell,
I saw your article in The Lectric Law Library --
http://www.lectlaw.comand I wonder if you could help with a project that is going
here in Canada.
There is a group called NAANCP (National Association for the Advancement of
Non-Custodial Parents) that is trying to organize statistical information on family
issues. I would like to forward your material to them, especially if you have a
A "Fathers Shelter" for abused dads and kids is an initiative we are
considering in the group that I represent (HEART), so we have a natural interest in the
I dont know where you are geographically, but cooperation may be possible,
Thanks for your article.
Dear Mr. and Ms. Sewell:
I finally completed my reading of your information. Thank you again for sending me the
two e-mails about anti-male bias. Youve done a great job of compiling relevant data
and opinions. I sent e-mail to the Compuserve address at the tail end of the second
message. If thats just another one of your addresses, please excuse any redundancy,
but I do want you to know that I support your efforts to get out these facts. For too
long, the militant feminists have held sway in the so-called Truth department, and the
point made about young males growing up into a self-image of being part of a legacy of
shameful behavior toward women is right on the money. I watched that happen with my own
older son (now 18).
Dear Sam & Bunny
Thanks for your interesting take on the domestic violence situation. As a news
organization with a large number of students in family housing, UHN takes note of
situations which can affect those students. I have forwarded your message to this
years news director for his consideration as a story idea on UHNs television
newscasts. Thanks again for your input in this situation.
Jackie Steele, Webmaster, UHNter@ctive
Dear Sam & Bunny
Thank you for your e-mail on domestic violence. We just ran a cover story on crime on
campus, and one of the violent crimes on the rise is domestic violence. I would be
interested in receiving a copy of the full report. Can I just send this e-mail for my
request or do you need us to write to you in Naples? Thanks in advance for your reply, and
I look forward to hearing you soon. Campus Chief of Police, Wilson Petri
Dear Revs. Sewell
Well written. I've added your article at:
Rod Van Mechelen
Publisher: The Backlash! http://www.backlash.com
Dear Sam & Bunny
Thank you for posting your article re domestic violence. I am doing a paper for my
English class and your point of view (i.e., that domestic violence is a two-way street) is
exactly the point I am trying to demonstrate in an argument paper. One thing I am adding
that I have not seen much written about is the connection between children who were abused
and abusive spouses. That is, children who are hit in anger (and I don't mean a swat on
the bottom) are being taught to do the same when they are older: to hit when they are
frustrated or angry. So often I see on TV the very women who are teaching their children
to abuse others complaining of domestic abuse. Apparently no one has made enough of a
connection to realize what an enormous problem it is (similar to discussing the elephant's
tail, not realizing it is connected to the rest of the elephant!). As you might guess, I
have seen the connection firsthand, which is why I wanted to thank you for the work you
are doing in helping to educate and hopefully stop this in our lifetime. Take care.
Your letter is fascinating - although I'm not completely surprised.
I've noticed over the years in my ministry that in family violence cases,
as the discussions progressed, I realized the woman was most often at least
as violent as the man!
I would like to have a copy of the complete report, if you could
get that to me. Clergyman